Author: Shea

After a super few days at Cape Maclear we intended to rise early and hit the road for Mount Mulanje for a few days of mountain hiking. Ross had not been feeling well starting the night before and because he had been paranoid about malaria since we left Gaborone he thought that while waiting for me to pay the breakfast bill it was time for him to self-administer a malaria test. This process includes pricking your finger to draw blood. I turned around from paying the bill to find him passed out in a cold sweat on the couch.

Once I finished laughing, I helped him into a sitting position and proceeded to join in the activity of pricking Ross’s fingers. We ran out of finger space without successfully drawing enough blood for the test but decided to run it anyway with the few drops we had. It came back negative so we hit the road. We meandered southward on lake Malawi passing small towns and villages as often as Ross passed in and out of cold sweats and hot chills. It wasn’t until we were close to Blantyre that I noticed he had come out of his torpor enough to google the closest hospital and update our mapping app to send us that way.

After consulting a doctor, Ross gave more blood and we went to find food while waiting for the results to come in. Blantyre is not an epicure’s paradise so we settled for Hong Kong Chinese Restaurant hoping for the best. My food was terrible but not as bad as Ross’s. It had him in the bathroom puking after only a few bites. Maybe he had Malaria after all? We headed back to the hospital and though he was still negative for malaria, blood test confirmed an elevated white blood count which meant malaria or something worse was headed his way so best to start the malaria treatment antibiotics right away.

Blantyre was a forty-five-minute drive from Mulanje so we pressed on to make camp and prepare for his recovery. Twenty minutes into the drive Ross signaled to stop the car, he was going to be ill. He managed to get the window down so none of the violence erupted inside the car but he was chundering away as I slowed from 80 down to 0. Only when I came to a complete stop with Ross hanging out the window heaving his last did I have a chance to take in our surroundings. It’s important to note that roads in Malawai are not wide and many shops and restaurants are 2-3 meters away from the road. So as Ross appeared to collapse the top half of his body out the window to rid any remaining fluids in his body out the window, I focused on the cacophony of laughter and shouting that was coming from the passenger side of the car. We had stopped right in front of a local pub where 15-20 locals were enjoying Sunday afternoon beers.

They were shouting, laughing and taking pictures of Ross’s vomit violence out the window. Once it was apparent Ross was done, they swarmed the car to tell us Ross probably had Malaria and we should go to the hospital. They became more and more boisterous (on the verge of a drunken but still peaceful mob) as I declined multiple offers to buy them beers as recompense for puking outside their bar – as if none of them had ever done it!! I did exit the car to use one of our large canteens of water to start washing the puke off the street front of their pub. The owner thanked me and we were finally able to get on our way.

At Mt. Mulanje, with Ross in a delirium and me anxious about the rain, I set up the tent and we settled in to hibernate and wait out the malaria. I had a nice three days to read books, drink coffee and experiment with some of the food supplies we had bought on the road. Meanwhile, Ross just slept.

The plan was a 12 hour, 750 km drive from Kiambi Lodge on the lower Zambezi to Crocodile Valley in the South Luangwa National Park. The first 2/3 of the drive on mostly smooth tarmac roads went as planned and it was a pleasure to see the hills and valleys of the beautiful Zambian countryside. Our navigating app had done wonders on the unmarked roads of Chobe and the route to South Luangwa was clearly outlined with towns and villages to pass along the way.

With 250km remaining, we turned off the tarmac of Great East Road at the town of Petauke and followed our map app over mostly dirt roads for another 50km. The small demotion to the level of our comfort from the dirt road and occasional potholes was readily accepted as it meant we were getting closer to the National Park, our campsite, and dinner. But with 200kms to go, suffice to say we were surprised when the mostly smooth dirt road turned into separate tracks with grass and shrubbery in the middle. It is important at this point to mention Ross and I are both familiar with the sunk cost fallacy and both believed our logical minds would help us evade losses during the trip.

Suffice to say the road did not improve as we continued. Double dirt tracks deteriorated into a wide motorcycle track which turned into a smaller bicycle track which eventually turned into a pedestrian walking trail. Surrounded by tall grass, reeds and sugarcane at one point, we could see no road at all and as I drove straight through the bush Ross gave readings from the navigation app every 10 seconds.

Fortunately for us, Bubbles handled the situation like a champion and we pushed through the bush and found an actual road. Ten minutes later, we were rewarded with some juvenile lions playing on the side of the road. It seems we had entered South Luangwa National Park through little used “road” and now had 70km of night time game driving to arrive to our campsite. We soon saw plenty of game as the “road” through the park was mostly passable. Just when we thought the worst was over, Bubbles sprang a leak in the front driver side tire. Tired and ready for bed, I suggested we camp on the road. Unlike me, Ross was not scared of the dark or animals and soon we were out of the car changing the tire.

Tire changed and 25km to go, we carried on and were shortly rewarded with seeing BIG CATS! Two lions lounging by the side of the road. It was fantastic to see them in the wild and from the safety of inside the car. After some pictures we got going and finally arrived to Crocodile Valley Camp. It was a short 17 hour journey and we were glad it was over.

We forgot to mention in the last update that before Leaving Livingstone we were faced with a choice, a.) drive up the road to Lusaka for 8-10 hours or b.) find a scenic campground half-way down the road and watch the sun go down over Lake Kariba. Being the adventurous type, we found a spot on the map that could have been nothing short of the best possible wild campsite anywhere in Zambia. And so 2/3 of the way to Lusaka we turned off the main road and headed to our dream camp site.

When we drove past the final village structure and arrived at the beach front, even in the dark we knew it was a great spot. To ensure that it was okay for us to camp there, we drove back up the road to the first house we found to ask the locals regarding camping on the beach. As we entered the driveway we understood it to be an inn and a small crowd seemed to be waiting for us in the driveway. The first person we met was the village Constable. He was incredibly drunk and overjoyed to meet us. He welcomed us to Kariba Peninsula Village Inn and confirmed it was a great place to stay. The proprietor said we could all have rooms and she was clearly disappointed when we only wanted to camp in her driveway. We asked about camping down by the beach and a friend of the proprietors piped up “you don’t want to stay down there, traders are coming in and out all night”. Always curious about any commercial activity we encounter, Ross and I both started asking questions about the trade involved. He curiously shifted to saying the fisherman would be arriving really early in the morning and it would wake us up. We countered saying that we wanted to wake up early and take sunrise photos anyways and then I asked specifically if the traders are coming from Zimbabwe. He reiterated that “the fisherman arrive early” and solemnly said, “you really don’t want to sleep down there”. The camping location seemed settled.

Indeed, as we carried on with making dinner, organizing tents and going about our camping business, loaded trucks started arriving. As the night wore on, trucks continued to come and go about as regular as the Zambezi Ferry Service at Kazungula Border Post. If the business was fishing, business seemed to be good. We woke before sunrise and drove down to the beach. Besides the heavy tire tracks on the road, there was no sign of all the trucks we had heard all night.

With the sun mostly up and the bright day around us, we started loading into the car and begin the drive to Lusaka. We met some men walking down to the beach as we were about to pull away. They were fisherman, preparing to start their day.

*We are not alleging that smuggling was taking place between Zambia and Zimbabwe at this location on this evening. We do not even know what goods would be profitable to move between these two countries in an unregulated and dangerous fashion. It is not our intent to disparage the inhabitants of this village or their friendly constable. We accept no responsibility for the accuracy of our assessment.
** We neither witnessed nor received any solicitations for services.

By the time we arrived in Livingstone it was clear from other overland travellers we met that we needed to step up our game. We needed to do some education, networking, training and self promotion to get our start up off the ground.

Our first night in Livingstone was spent at the Crocodile & Reptile Farm with Ian and Sue Brooks. After the luxury of separate bedrooms with ceiling fans(!) we had a morning education session with Sue on what dangerous snakes we should avoid and which ones would not stress us out because if bitten, we would be dead.

We made our way to Jolly Boys Backpackers in Livingstone for some networking. I prefer hotels with concierge service but Jolly Boys turned out to be a close second and we decided to call it home for a few days. We met American Peace Corps Volunteers from Zambia and Namibia, German School Teachers volunteering in Namibia and several groups of inspiring travelers (1)(2). It was a fantastic stay and a great place to break in our new set of Cards Against Humanity.

We made a day trip to see the beautiful Victoria Falls. I did the obligatory 111m bungee jump off the Victoria Falls Bridge and we then crossed into Zimbabwe for lunch and to access ATMs for American dollars. The view of the falls from the Zimbabwe side was even better and Ross appreciated not being attacked by Baboons (yes, this happened on the Zambia side, but he did not get bitten so I assume he remains rabies free). It was a long day of border crossing bureaucracy, payment of fees, and lots of walking. The kind of practice we needed to prepare for the rest of the trip.

With education, networking and travel practice out of the way, it was time to self promote. Lucky for us, Xpro Graphics in Livingstone was open for business and ready to take the hard earned Kwacha out of our hands. We had seen several overland cars decked out with flags, graphics, branding, etc. Not to be outdone, we dressed Bubbles up in branding, flags and logos front and back and sides.

And just in case we are ever away from the car, we printed business cards to hand out as well.

After the relaxing vibe of the Old Bridge Backpackers in Maun, we headed to Okavango with a tentative plan to wild camp* at “Nick’s Secret Camping Spot” outside of Mababe. Following GPS coordinates through an abandoned campsite, we arrived at the river where two dozen hippos and a MASSIVE elephant were splashing around to cool off from the midday heat. Also enjoying the view was a local Bots safari guide and former elephant hunter named Garrick. He had converted to photography after meeting his vegetarian girlfriend Sonya (choose wisely friends!). Garrick confirmed the pool was great for game watching and also mentioned that a pride of lions was known to roam the area. We sort of heard him, and then continued with our day following Garrick for an incredible game drive seeing more elephants than we could count. And not just elephants, we saw SO MANY ANIMALS, the Moremi Game Reserve is incredible and deserves your visit.

As the day waned we decided to overnight at Nick’s Secret Camping Spot. We arrived before sunset and took some awesome pictures of the pool and remaining hippos before setting up the tent. We were starting the stove to cook dinner when we heard the first lion roar. Our best guess had the animal at 1km away. Dinner was postponed until we got the fire started and jet fuel would not have helped start it fast enough. With enough wood to burn down Valhalla, we crouched between the fire and the car and contemplated eating dinner or being dinner. Then another roar, probably 500m away. Surprisingly, we were no longer hungry and jumped in the car, doors locked, windows up. How long is too long to hide inside a car from a pride of lions when you are sweating to death? After 10 minutes, we decided to sleep in the car. After 30 minutes it became clear from the fog on the windows and dampness of our clothes that this was unreasonable. Escape planning ensued. Mind you, darkness has arrived. Our headlamps are only good for 20 meters at best. When a lion attacks, do you really have 20m of their charging time to get safe? I’m not an impala, I don’t jump 3m high at the drop of a hat.

So the plan was this – Ross, was to exit the vehicle and climb the ladder to the rooftop tent. If he made it alive I would consider joining. Otherwise, at least the car would be cooler without him. The good news, Ross made it upstairs. With windows down, I was able to throw him the sleeping bags, pillows and bug spray (why the F$%& we cared about bug spray at this point is irrelevant).

Eventually, mustering the kind of courage the British had marching into Isandlwana, I made a run for the rooftop. Only once I was safely inside the tent and I could hear something besides the pounding of my heart did I hear again the lion(s) roar (yes, plural). And they were now closer. At this point, we did not know we were basically 98% safe in the rooftop tent. So naturally we recorded on my phone a going away message for our mothers while simultaneously cursing ourselves for trying to save 150 pula by not paying for a camping site. Perhaps another day we will post this video. For now, think Blair Witch meets Lion King.

*wild camp American Translation: pitching a tent anywhere as opposed to in an organized campsite

Dear Readers,

As you may have noticed, we have been unable to post a day by day account of events and experiences on the blog. The past week has shown us that bumpy African roads are no place for a passenger to be typing and WiFi is too limited to post regularly even if we did write you every day. We have made a commitment to write continuously and then post the best stories as soon as we have WiFi. In this way we like to imagine your reading more like Guantanamo Bay Waterboarding instead of Chinese Water Torture.

Stay Thirsty,
Ross and Shea

We left Gabs and made our way to Khama II Rhino Sanctuary. We were lucky the gate was open when we arrived after dark, even luckier the camp store was open and selling beer!

Our game drive on Sunday morning was fantastic with too many animals to list so we have started a new section on the blog just to show you pictures. Due to either our neophytic reconnaissance skills or an error in the naming of the Khama II Rhino Sanctuary, we saw no rhino! There is something special about driving at 8 mph in a car that is averaging 4 mpg and not spotting the prized animal.

Leaving the reserve and continuing north the plan was one night in Maun at a backpackers (American translation: hostel) and then onward and upward into the Okavango Delta and Chobe National Park. It’s important to remember that though we left 12 days behind schedule, we still had not finished all the preparation necessary for a trip of this scope. With this in mind, we headed out in Maun to buy a spare tire, a spare key, spare food and spare booze. We managed to accomplish three of these before heading into a vast wilderness that had no cellphone reception.

I’m told blogs should be either funny, interesting or provocative so here’s a picture of Ross and I to kick things off.

More photos to come but first, a quick update on the preparations for this epic road trip. It seems I have been packing FOREVER! It started when I packed up my apartment in Johannesburg leaving only a backpack of clothes behind. With my other worldly possessions (two bicycles and an espresso machine) packed into long term storage, I was ready to travel.

Three weeks later and life on the road is maybe on the horizon. After a two week delay on Land Cruiser engine repairs, today our travel machine was approved as roadworthy and the correct license plate was issued. It’s comforting to know that in Africa, dealing with road and transport authorities is no less frustrating than anywhere else in the world.

The past weeks have been spent with Ross trying to get the final details sorted and travel preparations made. It has been a little stressful to assist Ross with the various last minute pieces of this massive jigsaw puzzle called “Travelling Overland in Africa”. He has spent the past year doing most of the hard work and planning so as a last minute participant I tiptoe my suggestions and ideas out. So far I have mostly contributed my enthusiasm regarding the coffee and beer we will encounter along the way as well as the team uniform concept.

We’re both cautiously optimistic about the prospect of sharing a roof top tent for 3-4 months. I’m a little nervous for passing through Uganda as two men sharing a tent but despite this potential hazard, the “partnership” is off to a great start with each of us exhibiting different strengths and strategies for problem solving. For instance, in our preparation session last weekend when using the satellite phone . . .

Ross said “yea, it’s cool, it’s like working in a remote mine.”

I said “No, it’s cool, it’s like calling in a drone strike.”

I’m sure that over the course of the trip, Ross’s inclination toward efficiency in exploiting remote resources will balance out my American instinct for problem solving and bridge building with explosives.

If all goes well, the roof top tent, camping awning and other accessories will be installed tomorrow. Then we just need to load and organize inside the car a small amount of gear and we will be ready to depart.